He was (or used to be, I’m not sure what’s better) my crush when I was what, like 10 pounds ago?? I used to think I was chubby back then but what the heck? Look at me now. Anyways, it was one sunshiny morning of 1999, summer is in full throttle (yeah, I’m trying to be artistic here, hahaha!), one of those very seldom moments that I went out of the house to buy something. It was just 2 steps away from our door when there I spotted inside the water station that’s infront of our house what must be a Fil-Am boy. He’s probably a relative of the business owner. And ok, yeah he’s cute but let’s not get carried away here ok? Looking back, I’m amazed as to how I exercise judgment when I was a teenager. In that same day, I saw him (of course I’m not spying) delivering those gallons of water to the neighborhood and I swear that was a total turn-on, an instant crush. No, it’s not how cute he carries those containers but it’s more on not bothering to do that menial job when you’re that good-looking! Basta!
After some time, I learned that he’s suddenly become the girl talk of the neighborhood: the crush ng bayan. That very same night, I noticed how young girls were passing by their store every so often or buy a 10-peso worth of clean water. Gee, their per-day sale must have atleast risen to some value. And how did I notice all of these? Well, my mom must be very thankful to him for the lazy person that I am suddenly brings myself to attend to the customers in our store (yeah, we used to have one) that’s a door away from our sofa and the petulant person that I am, is in instant bright mood to the customers. (Yeah I know you must always be pleasing to them but what I can do; they’re disturbing my TV schedule. =P But when you’ve got a nice view infront, why not?)
Well, so sorry to these girls ‘coz the next 2 days I think, he approached the store and bought some ice cream (with me as the storekeeper of course), introduced himself, talked for a short while and went back to each other’s businesses. Shortly, a waitress from a restaurant beside us, whom he befriended with, went to the store and asked for my landline number. Of course I know what that’s for. Old school, hehe. When he called, I learned that his tito gave him the job for the summer and that he’s of the same age as my younger brother. Pedophile, tsk tsk! Hehe.
When his job was finished that night, he came over the store to again talk to me before his uncle comes to pick him up. Those visits became a hobby. I’m just not sure though if I became the object of envy of the girls. Well, he’s got a girlfriend to begin with and really, we’re just friends. No showbiz here, hehe. But sometimes, he’ll call his cousins through our phone, introduce me as his gf and pass the phone over to me. You know that time, you can give me an algebraic equation and I will gladly solve it for you but to dissect men’s- or boys’ to be precise- words or behavior to me, no! I don’t know. There's just no formula.
Then summer passed. We lost communication. I started college, had a bf 3 years after, landed on my 1st job, broke up, blubbering mess, struggling single, transferred to a new job and received a text from him on my 1st week. Of course I got excited to hear from him. It’s been 8 long years. He got my number when he visited his uncle’s store last April and got the number from my mom. (I’m telling you, they’re that close.) But it didn’t become a regular texting which I didn’t mind given that I have a new job to concentrate to.
Two months after on a Saturday afternoon, again one of those seldom days that I went out of the house again. I’ve just closed the door, turned around and there he was, seated on the open van with a phone on his right hand. Our widened eyes locked at 10 paces. So this is the reason for my balking on putting on loose instead of pressed powder, I thought to myself. Sheeesh, why didn’t I? Then snapped back and realized I have to say something.
“Andyan ka pala bat hindi ka nagtetext?”
His eyes still widened, “Ang ganda mo ngayon!”
“Nge!” I said, certain I was blushing from head to toe. All these years I never learned to say thanks for any praises given to me when it comes to physical looks.
Anyhoo, he must’ve been a good actor. ‘Coz the moment he uttered those four flattering words (and kept on repeating them if I ay add), I was pretty much convinced that the products I’m using are effective. Hahaha! Then he gave me his seat on the van and that’s when I took him all in. He’s still cute, lanky but is now muscular, semi-bald headed as before, tattooed and all. In short, BAD BOY! And he’s talking to me in this exaggerated over-acting Carlos Agassi way. I wonder what’s up with that ‘coz he certainly wasn’t like that before. It was some good 1 hour of catching up before they left. When he’s texting me on his way home, that’s when he proclaimed his intentions. Wow, that was fast! And then he unraveled some truths from the past.
I don’t know if I was just down that time but I entertained him somehow. Though I knew it from the start and I can very well sing those lines from Leah S, “I remember the boy, but I don’t remember the feeling anymore.” Maybe I just really missed the friendship. Sorry to disappoint you guys, but there’s no happy ending in here.
I wrote this because realized that I may not have that childhood sweetheart story which I once wished I have but I do have that guy-coming-back-after-8-years thingy story to tell. And NOW THAT HE'S BACK (again!) – I just noticed that there’s been a recurring pattern when relevant guys do come in my life – I need a reminder to stay strong and to think clearly. Most of all, don't allow the current situations impair my judgment. And there went my resolve.