Monday, June 18, 2007

Isn't She Adorable?


In her ngusong-baboy make face:

Watch her play:

See her cry…waaaaaaaaaahh..haha!!!

And during my last visit, my oh my! She’s so hyperactive. Really makulit. Running very fast in Tita Millet’s house; turning on and off the electric fan and acting as a guard in the door opening and closing while I do my Eat-Bulaga thing with her, hehe. The smile on a child’s face like her is really priceless. :)

Ok. Butchik is not my niece or any relative as you may expect. She’s my and Joy’s adopted child. Haha. Kiddin’. She’s Ate Sally’s (a friend in Laguna) youngest. I find her quite special because she’s opened up my heart again to loving babies. :P

You see, I shunned myself from babies for too long because of two harrowing experiences. One was with my niece through my cousin. Every Sunday I used to carry Erica and play with her in our church. I also sometimes visit her in their house, not really that near to ours. But Saturday church activity makes me visit her once in a while. There was this one time when I had to leave but she still wants to play with me. She wailed and wailed but of course I still had to leave and I was also crying while walking on the streets outside because I pity her. I thought she doesn’t have any playmates as fun as I am which was silly because she has an older brother and sister. What was I thinking? And then the next thing I remember, she started addressing me as Mama. And as soon as I heard that, I looked in my cousin’s wife. She doesn’t have to say anything else. The feeling of hurt is all there in her eyes. I felt a prickle of shame because though I didn’t mean for it I know I’m starting to cross the line of just being an aunt. I mean, I wouldn’t want for it to happen if I became a mother of my own (which I honestly can’t visualize as of now). So after that incident, I tried to avoid Erica during Sundays in the church, family gatherings and all. My treatment to her was never the same. Even with her youngest sister Amor, I didn’t pour much my heart out as what I did to her sister.

The other experience is mine for the keeping, hehe. But the latter one made me hate kids because SHE made me feel I’m not good enough in dealing with them. I even banned myself from bonding with my 3-yr old cousin Gee Ann who lives in our apartment behind our house. :( The effect was that disastrous. Well, I’m just glad I finally got over that feeling. Time really is a good healer. Anyways,

God, please give me a man who can give me a baby as cute as her. =)

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